Wise Words From HR: Company Holiday Parties
Close the door, unfortunately I've got some pink slips to hand out.
LMS
Wise Words From HR: Office Visits
Losing Wait
Urinal Cake: George Zimmerman
Urinal Cake: Lucy You got some esplainin to do!
Stupid Love
"The idea of love is worth the chance to take action"~Me.
Wasn't expecting me to go there were you...Me either! The best thing about your brain is that you control it while it controls you. Ok, read that again (without looking at Ri Ri's Tits), some of you might of missed that. I'll wait!!!
Urinal Cake: Making a Clean getaway
Who is Will Thompson?
Born On May 28th, 1983, at age 29 Will Thompson has been on a steady pace to realize his goals. Already equipped with an impressive list of accomplishments in his promising acting career, he still has his sights set on capturing the elusive goal of landing a lead role in a major film or theatrical production.
As a multi-faceted phenomena, Will who learned how to play the piano by ear is also a talented musician. He traveled to Los Angeles to negotiate a contract with a major record label just to realize he has an insatiable desire and passion for acting. He decided to re-direct his talents from music to film and television. Thompson knew he wanted to be an entertainer since the age of twelve. The interest was sparked after viewing and learning from the legendary performances of Jackie Gleason, Redd Fox, Robert Dinero and Al Pacino. Thompson said his ultimate goal is to work with notable superstars such as, Denzel Washington and Tyler Perry.
Upon returning to his hometown of Chicago, Thompson’s career began to blossom. His most recent and memorable role was playing an assistant to a mob boss in the action-comedy movie “Shots Fired.” he was hired for a background role in the hit movie “The Dilemma.”
Thompson was also casted in two TV pilots, “Matadors,” “Pleading Guilty” and “Connie Banks the Actor” along with a part in the Oprah Winfrey made-for-television, There Are No Children Here.” He has also appeared in several commercials. His entertainment history also includes parts in radio skits and various roles in stage plays.
That path was almost derailed when Thompson learned he had a herniated disc in 2008. The aliment led to three major back surgeries within a 12-month time frame. After the second operation, Thompson suffered a staph infection in his lower spine region which almost proved to be fatal. Thompson said he had to learn how to walk after each procedure. Now in good health, he continues to focus on polishing his skills through acting classes. He’s studied at Act One Conservatory, and attended sessions at The Green Room and Second City Chicago. He continues to practice with other actors and coaches to further perfect his craft. Determination is the best word to describe the work of Will Thompson. With his die hard work ethics, he is on his way of becoming a household name in the industry.
Besides the indelible mark he has made in film, he also has a passion for the youth. As an active member within his city, Thompson plans to organize a peace summit called “Taking Our City Back.” His core values are to re-define empowerment with efforts to instill self love and safe lives.
Becoming a household name in the industry Will is an all around talent; he brings a special charisma to the roles he portrays. It is just a matter of time before Will Thompson's name and face will appear on marquees and movie trailers everywhere.
Will is an amazing actor of the future and is on his path to an A level success. A star on the rise.
Wise Words from HR
Urinal Cake: Virgins Wanted
Urinal Cake: Stealing candy from a baby
Human Resource Dept: Orientation
Im sayin, just think about it. Why hold on to things that are easily replaceable? If I saw you put the L out until tomorrow I would automatocally think
"If, ifs & ands where pots and pans, there'd be no need for skillets"
Now..... this is from my pops again, and to tell the truth, I never completely knew what the f**k he was talmbout. Only thing I knew was Everytime I had an excuse he'd say that sh*t. Now I say it to white folks and walk off like Bernie Mac.
"A key that can open any lock is a master key. A lock that opens with any key is useless"
This should settle a couple "why can men do it and we can't?" Questions for a while.
-HR
Lunch Meat (Explicit)
Psst..Did you bring a lunch today, cause you can get this meat?
"If you have to whisper then its wrong"~me
I could of sworn that there was an unwritten rule about dating Co workers, maybe I'm wrong. Hell, maybe I'm wrong about a lot of shit, but sometimes my Paynus sensors go ham when it comes to certain situations (hahaha, excuse me, I'm sorry but paynus and ham in the same sentence is funny to me). Anyway, for some reason It seems like everything about work place relationships are wrong and not just for the obvious reasons either. You know, the "obvious" reasons. Please do not act "brand new" to the Naughty Office couples; the ones who take those bathroom dip offs breaks, lunch break quickies or partake in the occasional favouritism that everybody notices accept their "Wide Open Nose" ass. Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong when finding romance...rather it is with a person you will see ALL day while working, possibly car pool to and from work with, then go home together (co-habitation only). Now, if you have a tolerance level for your partner that is equivalent to an alcoholic who snorts shots of Bacardi 151 and can still manage to walk a straight line then you might be cool, but If you are a part of that 99 percentile that consider themselves normal alcoholics then you know that this is a formula for a domestic violence case. I'm going to stop here before somebody think I'm talking to them. I guess my concern is...What if "it" doesn't work out, then I have to be the bad guy and get you fired (sorry)....#Awkward....Its either me or you and I like working. The moral of the story is lunch meat is only good when you have your own "bread" MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed
Urinal Cake: Keep Em Warm
"ITS FRIDAY! Lets get drunk and do things we'll regret in the morning"
The Married Bachelor
There comes a time in every man 's life when it is that time to "make that move" you know "pop the question", "turn in your player card", "get hitched", "the old ball & chain." OK, ok...enough with the cliches, I think you get the picture. With that being said, there is an underline question that most people...and when I say "people", I mean "men" forget to answer is...Am I Ready? I swear we think with the wrong head sometimes. Here is a story about a guy and his quest for his cake and ice cream. Please sit back, relax and partake in this journey of "The Married Bachelor" Chapter 4: Shacked Up.
It was the night of our one year anniversary...One. Whole. Year, I'm talking the first of an "Annual"-versary, three hundred and sixty five days, All I'm saying is my mama can't believe I was still with this girl. Crazy right? Nope the crazy part is that you would think those two dated, all buddy buddy and shit. The reason this was such a shocker is because I played the field a little bit...let's just say I fulfilled a lot of fantasies. Back in my day, my track record proved that making it past six months was an accomplishment. Anyway, that was the old me? This evening I had planned for the celebration, it was going to be great. Hell, I had to do something extravagant to whiteout the eleven month roller coaster we rode (and it wasn't all my fault either). I had it all planned out, my mom picked my son up from school that afternoon (yes, I do have a son from a previous mistake, I mean relationship), reservations were set weeks in advance at one of the most upscale restaurant on this side of Chicago, I can finally afford "upscale" with this healthy advance I just received (I'll tell you about that in a minute). I mean this place was so upscale there was a credit check to reserve a table...I shit you not, these Bitches asked for two forms of ID. I also paid my buddy fifty bucks to act as my chauffeur for the night. This was going to be a night that she will remember....Plus I figured this was a perfect opportunity to tell her the good news on my book deal (SURPRISE). You have to give me credit though, I did decide several weeks prior that I wanted to make this night special, telling her about the advance was just the icing on the cake. My dreams had finally come true, all those hours of me cheating on her with my lap top finally paid off... literally... And no, I wasn't watching porn...all the time. Now her on the other hand worked a crazy schedule and her hours were never steady, even in college we had to sneak time in together. I kinda knew what I was doing I try and call myself being spontaneous at times, but this night deserved to be flawless and this took some serious attention to details. Her boss and I were a part of the same Fraternity, I mean different schools, but same organization. I wasn't smart enough to attend DePaul, but I was definitely creative enough to go to Chicago State. Therefore it was nothing for me to include him in the creation of these plans and for him to go with the flow of the night. We had it planned for her to work in pediatrics that morning. Subliminally, I wanted her to work with children so when we met up that night she would be all mushy from seeing all the babies. See, my girl was four years younger then me, I met her when she was a freshman in college. I was on that five year plan, but that is besides the point. She was the type that you can just look at and tell they would make a great parent. Look at it this way, if I would of graduated when I was suppose to, I probably would of never met her, this was my definition of fate. I knew from the first time I saw her I had to have her, despite the 57", 136 pound frame, high yella complexion and curves like the letter "S" which was was just a bonus that came along with her ambition, and we all know men only care about a woman's intellect. Well, at least that is what I told her to get into her dorm room. Me on the other hand I just landed my first book deal and this advance could not have come at a better time.
Chapter 2...Break up 2 Make up....