Pocket Watch
Who you remember this?
"Hey, what time is it?"
"Half past a monkey's ass & a quarter til his balls"
Unfortunately, that has nothing to do with this entry...Well, maybe a little bit I guess...Time comparison...Anyway, Based On A True Story (that I made up): You Ready, Set, G-O....I know what time it really is...Time for you to stop eyeballing my wallet. (This reminds me of this nursery rhyme....Want to hear it...Well here it go: Tick Tock, Tock Tick That is the sound of you "watching" my pockets bitch. What goes in and comes out is non of your concern, so what there is a hole where MY last check burn. The bills are paid, may have been a little late. Fuck you telling your friends it's been a while since we went on a date. What do they know, they're slow...One thing for sure, I got that Madden tho...)Now before you go bashing me or this blog, you know there is always message you can get out of it. Currently at this very moment I have not the slightest idea of what that message is, but before I give you my signature sign off I'm sure something would have transpired, so keep reading. (30 minutes later) The number one thing that causes turmoil in a relationship are finances, the all mighty dollar has hurt more relationships than an "accidental" peek at an unsolicited text messages. Rather it is the fact of the mismanagement of funds or simply not bringing home enough "bacon" ummmmmmm, bacon.....I love bacon..(lets pause for bacon). Anyway, As you get older, you come to realize that relationships are give and take, more give and less take and as strange as this sounds, if both parties abide by this rule it somehow balances everything out. That might have been one of those math equation we all slept through in highschool. Picture this if you will, a triangle...There are three points; two at the base and one at the top. It is said that if you and your mate place yourself at either spectrum of the base of that triangle and focus on God (which is the top point of the triangle) then there is nothing, not even financial disparities that can detour the relationship due to the fact that there is a common denominator. So instead of her/him "watching" your pockets focus on spending time together <----(double entendre). The moral of the story is Karma is a bitch, be stingy with the money and she gone take half eventually. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed
Urinal Cake: Gimmie a baby so I know it's real
Nuts and Bolts (Explicit)
Greetings & Salutations...
"When life gives you lemons, ask for a receipt" ~ Me
Ladies, are you tired of being "screwed" over? Did you see what I did there? Screw, Nuts, Bolts....Anyway, let me introduce to you a new term for men that treat women like an Ace Hardware stores. Are you ready? Please DO NOT shoot the messenger...
You have to first ask yourself, honestly...Do I have Dollar menu coochie? Your cooch is a direct reflection of your personality/character. Men have come to the conclusion that all "boxes" are the same, they are all pink and present the same results. Now what determines a man to stick around is the personality/character attached to it. Do you carry yourself in a manner that allows a man to be intrigued by more then a warm....wet.... soft.... *licks lips* plump piece of anatomy that is located between your inner thighs? Listen carefully ladies, a man takes prides in himself on conquering as much coochie as he can before falling in love. If you have been a victim of the "Nuts & Bolts" then you only have yourself to blame. Let me clarify what that means. It is basically what it sounds like, a guy nuts on your butt, you're stuck "babysitting" <--- get it..... and then hauls ass and leaves you with an empty feeling. It is a women's job to give a guy more than what he WANTS, and more of what he NEEDS. What does a man need you ask? A man NEEDS three things 1) Support 2) Food & 3) Compassion. Support his dreams, Feed the ni**a and be Compassionate about his feelings as well as he is to yours. One thing women tend to forget is men have feelings too. Simple right? Women have the power to make a man fall in love with them without fucking with their spaghetti, oh you never heard about that?...Men, be careful...It is an old southern voodoo that a women can put you under their spell by putting PERIOD juices in your spaghetti sauce. Anyway, ladies, most MEN have standards in who they lay down with, unlike popular beliefs all men DO NOT sleep with any and everything. Bitter bitches started that rumor....Let me clarify this, most MEN will not pursue any and everything, but if the "box" is offered it is EXTREMELY hard to deny it. Men are competitive by nature and sex is considered a sport in some countries (I made that last part up, but it sounded good). If a MAN lays down with you, there is something about you that attracted them to you. Rather it was something mentally or physically, and even if those two variable were not included, once you fuck your souls connect, so there is a connection regardless. Therefore, it is up to the women to make the guy fall in love. If not then WE nut & bolt. If you do not offer more than that warm....wet....soft....*drools a little* plump piece of anatomy that is located between your inner thighs than you forever be an "Ace Hardware whore." The moral of the story is women look for a handy man not handy men. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed
Welcome to the G Spot…The Woman Zone: Men and Monogamy
Welcome to the G Spot…The Woman Zone: Men and Monogamy
Hey world sorry for the delay with this weeks G Spot but I’m here to bring you my take on why men have such an issue with monogamy as requested in my readers choice edition. Well first off you really cant blame men for this some what genetic disease they suffer from. They are out numbered by women so they have more options. And when you have the option for options why would you just want one? It has nothing to do with the woman being dated nor the potential of the man who can’t be faithful. It’s about personal development. There are times when a man doesn’t have the time to maintain and nourish a relationship and playing the field is a necessity of lifestyle. Before I go any further let me just say to my ladies. All men are capable of being faithful. Only when they are ready to. No amount of good pussy or head will change that. Having his child won’t expedite it. Winning over his friends and family doesn’t make that much of a difference. It’s all in timing. Majority of male’s actual age and mental age don’t match so if you are with a 30 year old man you are actually dating a man with the mindset of a 24-26 year old. So expect him to want what a typical male who is in that age range to want. Just a little knowledge for my ladies. Any way when you factor in the being outnumbered and the age-mind disconnect with men it’s a given that it’s a challenge to be with one woman. Especially when you probably work with plenty of attractive women, work out around them, hang out and see groups of sexy women and feel all of them are attainable. But let’s be real even the best of the best of the average guys won’t get but ¼ of the women they step to. So fellas please understand this when your leaving that 7 to holla at that 10! When men are in relationships it does a few things: 1. Boost their confidence, so they feel they can get any chick at any time( by the way confidence exudes and it makes men more attractive so if you ever felt like damn when I’m single I get no play now that I have a girl all these other women want me…that’s why it also applies for women) 2. Activates grass is green syndrome…by this I mean men feel that by being in a relationship they’re missing out on what single men are “indulging in”{ and if no one wants to put it out their I will: most single men are miserable. Out at the clubs buying drinks in hopes that it will get them some ass after, driving around in a stalker like fashion yelling out car windows trying to pick up scantily dressed chicks, hitting up strip clubs spending that rent on some VIP love. If you’re a lucky single guy you have some chick you can call up for a little sexual rendezvous if not I’m sure you spend the night face booking and twittering up some kind of satisfaction until you fall asleep.} 3. Forces men to evaluate their wants. Men don’t want the responsibility of thinking about the future. It’s a job in itself trying to determine what you want to spend the rest of your life with let alone for the moment. Contrary to what most women believe men don’t intentionally want to hurt a woman by cheating on her. Please don’t banish me from womanhood for saying some should feel flattered that she was cheated on. He didn’t want to end the relationship though he was curious about this other woman who wasn’t worth the risk of losing you. Yes cheating is awful but it’s forgivable( we will touch more on that in a later edition of Makeup Bag) So I guess with all that I’m basically trying to say it’s going to take time or that person made especially for you for you to feel that there is nothing else out there for you. There is no age when it goes away. It’s all internal…what you want for your life. When you felt you’ve had enough of whatever you were doing and casual dating. We all peak at different times, or when we end up with that right person things just become clearer. I’m not sure if that really answered your question Pee Jay but as a woman that’s the best I could do…but for tonight’s homework everyone is to ask 3 men why they have cheated if they have or 3 men why they don’t cheat and see what the general reason was, this will give us all better insight to the reason why men cheat, which in turn will help us figure out why monogamy is an issue…until next week…happy humping!
Fee B’s Makeup Bag: Gender Bender (Not what you think
Fee B’s Makeup Bag: Gender Bender (Not what you think)
Hello my peeps! I’ve decided since my cousins wedding is a mere 11 days away I would do a topic inspired by her. Now this is my younger( by a year cousin ) who is getting married to her high school sweet heart…please your awwwws are making me throw up a little in my mouth but anyway they have been to a total of 12-14 years I believe and they are just now getting married. She waited all this time for his proposal instead of just saying fuck the status quo and asking him to marry her. True enough it’s not as if they lost time but if the end result was always to get married why wait on him to ask her. Now in this same situation we have another gender bender situation the groom picked 11 groomsmen the bride only had 6 bridesmaids so she had to come up with more bridesmaid which is usually never a problem for a bride. Times have changed and women keep talking that equality, I can do bad by myself independence shit but not walking the walk. How many of you treat a man out to dinner? I’m not gonna even ask how many expect to be treated to a dinner by a man. Any of you volunteer to pay a bill since you can fix your mouth to ask for yours to be paid? Your need for him to ride in a BMW instead of a Nissan when your walking to the bus is exactly what? I’m not saying this is every woman but I can’t help but wonder just because we have accepted certain gender roles that doesn’t mean that it’s exclusive to that gender? What is wrong with a man being a stay at home dad? A woman being a CEO of a company. Absolutely nothing. I believe in breaking the misconceptions of gender roles. Anything a man can do a woman can besides penetration. Anything a woman can do a man can besides giving birth. Let’s stop focusing on men should do this women should do that is just do it. Until the next time I reach into my makeup bag…Live, Laugh, Love.
Urinal Cake: Rapid Reaction (Bears Fans Only)
Fee B's Makeup Bag Classic Cinema
Fee B's Makeup Bag Classic Cinema
What’s going on my good people. I’m here today to pull another item out of my makeup bag and the item for today is something everyone has to know a little bit about…Horror movies. Now I love a good movie just like anybody else. As a matter of fact some of my inspiration on what I want to write about comes from tv, movies or music. As I sit here during my mommy free time, I pour up some white zinfandel, grab my blanket and my pillow, plop on the couch and start my mini horror-a-thon. I love horror movies but I only watch them alone during the day…yeah Imma punk lol but I decide to watch Frozen and Wrong Turn. Now I’ve seen them before but it never amazes me at the dumb shit producers, writers and directors put in scary movies. WARNING… SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t seen them and want to, stop reading I talk a little about what goes on in the movies…so you have 5 seconds, 4...3...2...1... So Frozen a group of idiots goes to a ski resort, arrive, kick it all day and then decide to go ski even though the lift is closing for the night and they of course get stuck….1st please tell me why you just couldn’t wait until the next morning to go on the ski lift? I mean if it was that important wouldn’t skiing be the 1st thing done when you got there? 2nd okay your stuck on the ski lift, one of the three jumps and come on lets face it you just committed suicide but his girlfriend’s first thought is to go after him? Bitch at least try to survive and live for him he just jumped foolishly thinking he could save you and go get help don’t let his imminent death be in vain…And of course she would be the one to survive. Now Wrong Turn gets me because of course a bunch of teens end up in the woods of cannibals and of course a girl gets captured. They watch the dismembering of her and when they get their chance to escape they run for it, the last one out notices the cannibal coming and he yells run…they run no further than the distance of a football field and one chick stops to tell the others you didn’t see what they did to her…WHAT? Why are you not running? Do you not want to live to dream about horror you just saw every night of your life? Are you and your friend so close that you are ready to join her in the after life? You guys really must have been besties. Then her loving boyfriend consoles her and tells her they will get out of this and get married…he dies. And so does she. To be perfectly honest….I LOVE IT!!!! Its my favorite part of the movie…when the stupid people die. Come on I know I’m not alone, in some way you are just like me. When the naked bitch running in the woods with her just killed boyfriend’s dress shirt or bloody tee shirt on, no bra, nipples indicating its 10 degrees, falls and gives that dumb yell/cry, then scoots instead of getting up before the killer is right over her gets an axe to the dome you say “ well hey I saw it coming she should have too” or “Oh well” or even a “she deserved it for doing some stupid mess like that” ADMIT IT!!! We root for her, telling her to run, look behind her, look in front of her…LOOK BITCH RUN BITCH. I hear you at the movies don’t act like I’m the only one. We have grown so accustomed to certain things in scary movies that it kind of diminishes it's scary… a party or a road trip or camping isn’t unusual. Often it's the setting for the film. Drinking, Drugs and Sex will occur. Fake tits will be put on display, at least one woman will die naked, usually the one that runs upstairs or outside and falls, we blacks usually don’t do to good in the scary movies, when you shoot or stab or blow up the killer at the end they always come back to life for one last attempt before they get the “final”(I put final in quotes because usually a sequel is guaranteed) bullet to the forehead or chopping off of the head. Wouldn’t it be great to see a horror movie made that wasn’t totally predictable and formulaic? I’m just saying…Well world until the next time I pull an item out of my makeup bag…Live, Laugh, Love
Welcome to The G Spot...The Woman Zone: 80/20 Rule
Welcome to The G Spot…. The Woman Zone: 80/20 Rule
Guess who’s bizack? Hello world it’s your girl Fee B bringing you the first ever Viewers Choice G Spot. Relle Marie spoke up and wanted to read about the 80/20 rule so here we go…DISCLAIMER: I am not nor have I ever been a shrink, doctor, therapist, or psychologist but I do act as one on BLOGSPOT and in my everyday life. Blogger can not be held liable for actions taken after reading…your grown suck it up and take responsibility for your actions! Now let’s get to it. The first time I ever heard of the 80/20 rule was in the movie Why Did I Get Married. The term wasn’t originally meant to be compared to relationships, it was an economical term that referred to Management in Italy stating that 80% of Italy’s income was received by 20% of the Italian population. Today the 80/20 rule is about dating. Your basically going to get no more than 80% of what you need in any relationship. Now for some the 80% can be all that’s needed in a potential partner. But for most it’s not getting that other 20% that makes commitment harder. You know what the hell with the technical aspects of this let me use reality. So I’m dating a guy almost 10 years ago. Very attentive, loving, not a cheater, not a big liar(I don’t mind little lies here and there you know the kind: No I’m not sleep…but you really are, I just got in…but you’ve been home all night kind of lies) he vocally expressed and showed how he felt about me and I was pretty much his everything. Hey this was important for me back then. But as things went further along I noticed that those things didn’t matter as much as I thought they did because he annoyed me. His face, his clothes, everything about him bothered me. There was no passion, there was no desire, there was no connection. I decided I couldn’t even waste anymore time on it so I moved on. I’d consider him a 20%. Now on the flip side you can have an 80%, which for everyone is different. For me, I needed someone who was going to willingly and naturally be able to step into the role of Stepfather, someone who was understanding of who I am and not be intimidated by my personality, someone loyal and who I was not only physically drawn to but I was mentally drawn to. And I found that. Now he’s not romantic or all that spontaneous, he can also be an ass at times and indecisive but those aren’t important enough to be deal breakers. The whole point of the 80/20 rule is to tell you "hey look you wont get everything you want." Would you leave 80 even though it’s lacking a few components for 20 who ONLY has what 80 is lacking? I’m not encouraging anyone to settle but honestly you have to sit and decided what it is you can and can’t live without. I know my guy isn’t a romantic so I step up to fulfill that romantic void. There are many qualities that people feel they can’t live without and there is no way for one person to tell you when to let someone go or when you have that special someone. Only you know. My girlfriend absolutely refuses to date guys with children because of her past experiences. My being a mother I could never make that call. She wants a guy that is heavily into church. I personally am not the most religious person, I am a spiritual but I don’t have to have a mate so heavily involved as long as they believe. Do you see where I’m going with this Relle Marie? You have to make a specific list of ALL the qualities you want in someone and when I say specific I mean DETAILED. What your putting down on paper is what your putting out there in the universe to send to you. Once you have this list you need to look at the ones that you could do without. It’s not compromising on what you deserve if your willing to pick up where he lacks, or give him time to try and make those changes that you feel are important. This is supposed to be for the long run don’t go asking someone to change a part of their personality to see if they may be a fit for the type of person you want. No one is perfect so stop now…RIGHT NOW DAMNIT…stop looking for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect they don’t exist. We all have issue and flaws no one can offer to be everything you want but they can be all you need. So with that said the homework assignment for tonight is single, married, divorced, dating…make a list of what qualities you want and need from a potential mate, be specific as possible (and Please don’t make it all about the body and looks…super superficial) glance over your list and check off what you can live without. Don’t take it off your list it just provides you with a glimpse of what you can live without. You then have a basic 80/20 blueprint for finding your mate. You may be lucky enough to get all you want and some of what you need.
Can I talk to yall for a minute?: Are men afraid of good women?
Urinal Cake: Bracing Forever
*Shuffles*
Ahh.. here we go…...
A 22-year-old Oregon man has sued an orthodontist for leaving his braces on for 11 years, resulting in straight but rotten teeth Devin Bost, of Portland, claims he suffered serious tooth decay and periodontal disease from having worn braces from ages 7 to 18 while he lived in Eugene , Ore. Two to three years is normal for braces. Some of Bost's teeth will need to be replaced with implants, but others cannot be because they have rotted to the jaw, said his attorney, David Hollander. The lawsuit states that Bost, whose mother is a medical doctor, "received an urgent phone call" in June 2008 from orthodontist Brad Chvatal's office "that he needed to have the braces removed immediately."
Chvatal told The Oregonian he could not have treated Bost until 2002, when he was licensed as an orthodontist. He has been licensed with the Oregon Board of Dentistry since 1997. He declined to comment on the case, citing patient privacy laws.
Man look, I don’t know how this kid could’ve gone through all those years of school with braces on. I did 3.5 years of braces and never smiled in ANY pictures (yes, go back and see that I'm right), and yet this kid had the balls and a supreme level of “idgaf”, in which Ive never seen before.
Take a look at his picture again…
This white boy ugly as hell right NOW! Imagine how he looked at 7 with braces! Man listen, the wolves would’ve been out on him with every metal joke in the book. He would’ve been painting his nails black while sitting in the corner listening to Evanescence starring out the window watching rain cascade off the buildings. I want to know if anyone said to him “damn n**ga when you gone get those joints off yo teeth?” Or, “sh!t bro, don’t you get tired of choosing what to eat based off how long it takes you to pick it out from between your rubber bands?” Now you’ve ended up with rotten teeth and a lawsuit because nobody around you wanted you to prosper. Have you taken an accurate account of how many heauxs you’ve lost because of the SAW trap in your mouth? How many mouth guards have you bought? Do you EVEN play sports? If not, did the braces hold you back? I have 1000 questions for this kid, but its coo…..
take this….
LMAO! Nah …. Im playing … take this instead
Everybody give this kid a HUGE FLUSH!
Until next time, remember...
"Drugs don't ruin careers, drug tests ruin careers"
But Hey, What do I know?
*Splits White Owl*
@ZeeDaay
Fee B’s Makeup Bag: Venting Edition II
Fee B’s Makeup Bag: Venting Edition II
Hey world I’m back to pull something else out of my makeup bag. There was a different item I was set to pull out but I felt obligated to vent on this instead: The 2012 DNC. Now before you think I’m going to get all heavy into a political debate let me put you at ease I’m not. I don’t do politics and not because my parents said talking about politics is a sure way into a heated debate…too many opinions so I’m sure I will hear a little some backlash for this but ah who gives a fuck. Now I in no way shape or form watched the DNC last night I just ended up recording some of it after Master Chef went off…by the way GO Josh! So I saw Michele being introduced and walk out to some Motown jam and speak. I was chit chatting on the phone while it played in the background and something caught my ears…I wish I could say this is a quote verbatim but I’m not for sure but it was something along the lines of saying “it’s not about what you earn, it’s about how hard you work.” And I found that to be the most interesting thing. How easy it must be for someone who has the world at her disposal, and I’m not speaking riches because I’m not sure of a presidential salary but as a celebrity and lets be real the Obamas are just another form of a celebrity couple they are entitled to certain perks and freebies. But as that caught my ears I scrolled through face book and saw all the comments about how classy and beautiful Michele looked…nothing about what she was saying…how she was such an inspiration for young girls today verses the reality stars they choose to look up to. Not about how she inspired them to get out there and vote and to encourage those not registered to also vote and it just made me wonder what the hell were some people even watching for? I mean I have my reasons for not giving a shit…a politician is a politician. They will say what needs to be said to get where they are trying to go. So as far as my vote goes I suppose I vote for the lesser of two evils but for those of you die hard Obama supporters it seems like the reasons your even voting for them is superficial. She’s so pretty, he looks great in a suit, he’s black, he can fix up the mess Bush made, he some what supports gay marriages. And I figure that’s the whole problem…a politician makes promises not grants wishes. How can you expect one man to change the state of the world. No man is God. I wish I could listen to a campaign speech or presidential debate and believe what I hear them say, but I’m a realest followed by an optimistic pessimist. You have to show me better than you can tell me because words are useless without action and our President isn’t exempt from that. So the world can be mad at this particular black woman for not being a 100% supporter of Obama because he is black too. I’m sorry his race means nothing. I will vote for the candidate who keeps his cool and his mouth shut. Basically I feel the one who talks the least will do the most but that’s just my way of looking at it. Sorry if it isn’t sophisticated enough as how beautiful the first lady looked but hey to each their own. Just another rant of mine. Thanks for letting me vent about what was bothering me…until the next time I pull an item out of my makeup bag…Live, Laugh, Love
Welcome to the G Spot… The Woman Zone: 3sums, 4sums and More-somes
Welcome to the G Spot… The Woman Zone: 3sums, 4sums and More-somes
I have to start out by apologizing for the delay in posting but there was a death in my technological family. My laptop unfortunately died today, cause of death LCD/LED internal bleeding. So with that said I had to of course bid adieu properly. Now that I have paid my respects…what’s up G Spot freaks? Did you enjoy that long holiday weekend? Did you hopefully get your freak on at some point…I did not to rub it in your face or anything just want to set the tone for today’s G Spot topic. If you didn’t get to get your freak on with someone this weekend hopefully you partied alone and if you REALLLLLY partied this weekend you may have had some group action. I prefer to not call them ménage a trois seeing how that just translates to “household of three” but for the sake of making a point what the hell a ménage or a threesome, foursome or more-some. I didn’t participate in one this weekend but I have participated in a 3 some (a guy, a girl and myself) I’ve also participated in a 4 some( 3 girls one guy) and a more some…with all women of course. I’m not knocking women who have the fantasy of all male ménages and more but I personally don’t want so many dicks in or around me in one session. That’s just me. But as far as my experiences go I must say it’s something I think everyone should try at least once. It’s different combinations of ways to try it so there’s something for everyone. I do have a few rules to the sexual experience well more so suggestions for those of you who aren’t pussies. 1. If you do choose to do it with someone you are in a relationship with PLEASE talk about what makes you uncomfortable as far as what you wouldn’t want done. For me it’s kissing…and of course it must be protected, yes it’s a little odd to stress using a condom when your face diving into a pussy or dual dick sucking but it’s for peace of mind. 2. Check out porn flicks that showcase the number you plan on dabbling with…it will give you ideas for positions and creative tricks to try seeing how more than likely you’re doing it for the first time 3. I’d really suggest to not use a friend as the third party even though you may feel better knowing them it may end up being an issue later. 4. Have a little chill time before it happens, maybe do a meet and greet prior to the big night or have some drinks before it starts to go down. 5. RELAX. Everyone is nervous so no one is judging performance, it’s an experience to be enjoyed so do just that enjoy it. Now I’m going to give you the homework assignment of attempting to try to have a threesome or more-some. If it’s not within reach at the moment go download a flick of whatever kind of threesome you would attempt(if your ass wasn‘t so scared of sex outside the box): girl on girl on girl, guy, guy ,girl whatever get’s that soldier standing at attention or gets little Miss kitty purring. Imagine that being you, put yourself in the flick and reconsider your unwillingness to try it. Alright folks I’ve touched on this enough, I will leave you to start your assignment…next up The 80/20 Dilemma. Happy Humping