Urinal Cake: One Man's trash is the next man's ...tool?
WaterHoes
Class is now in session...
Let me first introduce myself... You will address me as Professor Put Dat Ass On Blast. Here are my credentials: I obtained a PhD in "no nonsense" with a concentration in "Bitch Please." I am highly qualified in sniffing out the bullshit and bringing it to the forefront. Lesson for the day is brought to you from the book of life, chapter 19 (or page 5304) <---- put this in a calculator and flip it upside down....Everyone should have received this book upon exiting the uterus. If you did not care to bring your book to class today, you automatically fail (at life). Please take your belongings and exit to tomorrow's entry. Now that we have established who is the strong. Prepare to be mind banged. You ready? Ok, well here you go...I can take so many angles with this title...but I will only choose the obtuse angle....think about that, and don't act surprise with the word play once you figure it out...Y'all know my mind ain't right. Anyway, a normal water hose serves two main purposes 1) to wash a vehicle and 2) to water your grass. Each are done solely to present aesthetic or beauty to your materials. Do you agree? Now these "waterhoes" serves two main purposes as well 1) to wash away the neglect you may feel and 2) to water your ego. Which are also done solely to create a aesthetic feel in ones self. "Waterhoes" are not gender specific, so this is not a bash against women...If you thought I may of only been talking about the female species you probably have engaged in some hoeish acts before and if the shoe fits wear it. "A defensive conscious will tell the truth." ~me. A normal water hose is put away and stored until there is a need and "waterhoes" are treated the same way. Until there is a need to make one's self feel better about self, "waterhoes" serves no purpose. In life a person has a duty to serve a continuous purpose with meaning. Which brings me to my conclusion. The moral of the story is the only objective is to stay relevant and avoid being treated like a windbreaker in the summertime (rarely worn). Class dismissed. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed.
Fee B's Makeup Bag
Fee B’s Makeup Bag: Gridlocked
I’m back folks and I’m ready to dedicate this entry to all my Chi Town folks who should definitely understand my plight. The item I’m pulling out of my makeup bag is: TRAFFIC/ROAD RAGE. Ugh. Really I’d rather give birth everyday than sit in traffic! I’m more than confused as to why they choose to do construction all over the city at the same time. I get that summer is the best time to do the work because of the weather, but how is it that I never see you construction guys actually working? And because it’s apparently too hot or sunny for you to do your jobs, we commuters are faced with dealing with the fucked up roads and traffic you leave in your down time. So now my dilemma is should I strap rockets to the front of my car to shoot the drivers who act as if they just got their licenses or the construction workers who created the additional traffic? Yes I do have road rage…don’t roll your eyes at me, I know you have it too. All those break riders, accident watchers, super overly cautious drivers, the elderly on their way to McDonalds to have that free or discounted coffee making us miss that green light. I’m more than serious if I had a Marvin the Martian vaporizer…POOF I’d be on the road alone. I’m not a speed racer but I don’t care to be out sitting in a steam box on wheels for more time than necessary especially if the reason isn’t of my own doing. The reason why I dedicate this to Chicago is because if you drive you know rush hour lasts from 1:30 pm to 7:00 pm on the Eisenhower and those trying to avoid that take the construction clad streets making it almost as bad as the expressway at certain times and locations. And with Chicago holding the record for the highest gas prices in America who the hell has money to sit on the breaks and burn the AC for an extra hour? I for damn sure don’t. I won’t even give the clucker looking for $0.50 to pump my gas a break, hey I need my 2 quarters and even though it’s hot I can pump my own damn gas…go stalk another hard working Chicagoan for their pocket change you probably will have more luck than walking my way. The point of my ranting is this: construction workers make a shit load of money per hour just to drag out every project their given. It’s a conspiracy. They get paid the big bucks to create confusion on the roads, while the gas “regulators” in Chicago tax the hell out of the gas for additional profits, that we are forced to buy because we are burning extra gas sitting in this construction zone that could have been finished in less than a months time but somehow has turned into a full summer project. I know you notice it, or maybe you never paid attention to the construction ghost town. So if you haven’t, next time you ride past one just look and see if anything is being done over there. Trust me you will have time as the 2 lane road merges into 1 and you crawl past the zone. And if you don’t feel the need to strap an AK- 47 to your whip and blast everything out of your way I will seek help for my extreme case of Road Rage but I’m willing to bet I’m not alone! So my lovelies that’s going to do it for this weeks makeup bag…until I pull another item out next week…Live, Laugh, Love
A Woman's Prayer
"Lord, you know what I need"...Amen...Get it (A...man) Fuck you, I laughed, it was funny to me!!! Anyway, ladies it's okay to ask the lawd for help to get a man...or is it? The good book says, " Ask and it shall be given, good measures, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall MEN give unto your boobs. Or something to that nature. Can I get an Amen? (the real one, not A Man) don't make me kick your ass. It also mentions in one of those passages somewhere "A man that findeth a wife findeth a good thing." So my point is, women, why are you praying to Find a man, when he should find you? Oh, so I shouldn't be talking about this...Your bad....Do me a favor and excuse yourself to the entry above or below this one. Can I continue? *rolls eyes & mumbles curse words under breath* I know, I know....there are two things you shouldn't argue....Politics and Religion...but the misconception about the way religion should be "practiced" blows me. Notice practice is in quotation. Practice indicates that you are not perfect in something, therefore there is a chance to get better. That is a whole other topic....I will touch on that a little later (lol, that's what she said). Prayer is a verbal or no verbal conversation between self and your belief. The only problem is Prayer actually works. There is a book called "The Secret" (highly recommended read) that basically explains that what you speak actually have the ability to be spoken into existence (good or bad). Now this is where it gets good (sit up) ladies, we men know that you are the shit (told you it gets good). It is just a matter of time until you realize that. It is ok to ask your supreme being for "A Man" to come into your life, but you have to be specific. When saying your prayer or for my non religious folks (requesting) for companionship, put together a check list with everything you want in "A Man." It is just like going grocery shopping for ingredients for a peach cobbler...you know the main ingredients are peaches, but if you don't get the other things all you are going to have is peaches. The moral of the story is we all know there is a shortage of "Good" men, so some of you ladies are going to have to take one for the team. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed.
Welcome to The G Spot...The Woman Zone: Readers Choice
Welcome to The G Spot…. The Woman Zone: Readers Choice
Hey World what’s going on? We are at the end of the month of August so in order to promote comments from readers I’ve decided that I want to put The G Spot in the YOUR hands.@TeamBLAH this includes you as well. I want to know what you want to read about, I’m more than sure that I’ve experienced it in some way, shape ,or form. So I’d like for everyone who reads this to leave a comment about something they would like to see covered one week in G Spot. It can be questions or comments or suggestions of topics or some new crazy sexual fad that you learned about or tried that you want to know more about, or hear someone else's experiences about it. Rest assured your girl hasn’t run out of topics, I do know that’s what a few of you might be thinking but that’s far from the case. I just want to know what all of you silent freaks out there have on your minds. What you feel is worth reading about. I’d love to dedicate the whole month of September to writing about what you want to read so don’t be afraid to comment…remember you can always comment anonymously. Now to finish off last weeks debate about Red Light Green Light. I read your comments people and I heard what you said and it seems like there is a major division with people and their willingness to either have sex during that time of the month and those strongly against it. My homework for those of you opposed to it: come up with 3 reasons why and also research it to dissolve any misconceptions of the act. Those of you who are for it earn an extra star for having the balls to attempt something that isn’t considered the norm. Now that we have that out the way it’s an easy homework assignment this week. COMMENT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE DISCUSSED IN THE G SPOT!!! Plain and Simple. You comment on it…I’ll write about it. Now for all of you worried that I’m scrapping the bottom of the barrel for ideas I will let you in on privileged information…the topic for next weeks G Spot: 3somes 4somes and Moresome…yea I know it’s not a word but bear with me I’m using it to emphasize my point okay! So until next week my good people: Happy Humping!
Urinal Cake: Pee For a Wii
Come Again
