BLAH BLAH B.L.A.H.

We all have our own fears; whether it be afraid of heights, afraid of spiders or afraid of orange peels (shout out to the creep girl on Maury). If you search the term "scared" in the dictionary - you might find this: scared (adj) fearful or frightened. I'm pretty sure your wondering what does this have to do with anything. But hear me out. The question that inspired this blog came from a tweet I recently tweeted and it was along the lines of why "men scared of commitment". Now y'all know how I am, when I see a tweet , I began to rant and rave about it. So here it goes *clears throat and drinks water* here we go.

Let's start from the ground up. When you where a kid, you subconsciously learned from your parents relationship. You watched them smile and be happy as hell and you have seen them battle thru the toughest of situations. You secretly wanted to grow up and grow old like them. Now if you was like me, you seen your parents happy at the beginning of the marriage and tear apart close to the end. *cues readers to go awww* Then you have those who never spent time with their parents and yearned for that "fatherly attention" or "motherly love".

Now I know y'all like, what point is he getting at, be patient young grasshoppers. In all these situations, you learned how relationships operate. And from that lesson, that's how you thought a marriage or relationship was supposed to be. If you grow up watching your dad beat your mom and she keeps doing nothing about it, you're going to think it's ok to be in and support an abusive relationship. If you grow up with both parents and your parents constantly COMMUNICATE their disagreements and have an argument without them splitting up, that's what you will do. If you grew up constantly watching ya pops having hella females around, that's all you know is have a lot of females in ya life to hold certain points in life, whether it be good sex, good food or just intellectual conversation. You feel like you have to have all these to feel "complete"...

Now fast forward to now. You're constantly in relationships that in somewhat are split images of your parents marriage (it's my opinion, if I'm wrong let me be wrong dammit but I know I'm right). The same relationship you're tired of is the same thing your parents went thru and you didn't learn how to treat and respect your significant other.

I know y'all like, what is he trying to say. Based on my opinion, people have commitment issues based on what they seen at home when they were kids and from previous failed relationship attempts. Commitment issues are gained over the course of ones lifetime AND watching or not watching parents respect each other the way it should be done.
One way to break this vicious cycle is to mature and understand that you can no longer place permanent hurt on people. Believe it or not, you may do 100 things right but people will always remember that one thing you did wrong. When you mature and understand that you where prematurely thinking you where ready for a relationship, you will then begin to look at YOUR FAULTS FIRST before you point out someone else's.

I grew up in a single parent home where my parents argued alot and my dad just left without event trying to put up a fight. Seeing and hearing  my mom cry at night really sparked that fire to be the man who never made his woman cry... I try my hardest to always keep a smile on my girlfriend's face and reassure her that I'm always on her side and never against her. It took for her leaving me and realizing that I had to get right with me first BEFORE I got right with her. It took many unanswered calls and no reply on my text messages to see she really wasn't for my campaign. I got lucky and was blessed with another chance. Fellas you're not gonna always get lucky and get that second chance. Make that first chance count. If she's worth the commitment, make it count.

I say all that to say this , we're all scared today of what's at stake tomorrow. True love only happens one time. If its worth it, stop being scared and take that risk. Scared money don't make money.....

#SauceApproved

Before I get started, I would like to tell you to get your mind out of the gutter. (Damn Freaks!)

Based on a True Story.....I Made Up....

Everyone say hello to Richard Jr.

Now that the informal introductions are done, we can get down to the entry.

Kids can be so damn mean. What a way to start a story, right? Anyway, this is why I say that. When I was younger the mean kids nicknamed me "lil Dick." I was named after my father which that made me a junior. One night at a Parent/Teacher meeting some of the kids just so happen to hear my mom call my dad "Dick" which is short for Richard and from there on my life had its turn for the worst. I was ridiculed for years. I spent all of my grammar school days self conscious about my penis size. I know, I know....What do grammar school kids know about private parts? I went to an inner city/public school and my uncle was an unlicensed child photographer and had pics of 3/4ths of the kids that went to my school (read between the lines). At the time we didn't know better. He's locked up now. We also had to move after that news got out that he was our family.  Anyway, You know if you hear something so many times rather its the truth or not, you begin to believe it.

::Fast Forward to Community College::

I got into my first real relationship. Still a virgin in the game, I was afraid to undress in front of people yet alone have sex. Even though I "Matured" in certain areas of the anatomy, I just wasn't ready yet. All this built up aggression form my past and no pussy started me to act out. My girl of three months told me that I'm starting to act like my name...A "Dick." That hurt me, so I dumped her and concentrated on my curricular.

::Fast Forward To Career::

So, I landed a job in my field of studies and had made my own name for myself within the company(Dick Who?).  A couple of years went by, it was as if my past had literally erased itself from memory. Everything seemed to be back on track. I ended up Marrying my wife of now 1 year tonight whom worked in another department at the company. Things were, in my mind great. We were both career focus, making good money and kid free. Anyway, our Anniversary was tonight. This was going to be the night that she had all of me. This was the time that our souls will actually intertwine. She was going to break my virginity dammit. I got off 2 hours before she did to get everything ready for the night. Suddenly I heard the garage door open. This was it. Nervous and "excited" at the same time. I met her in the doorway of our bedroom butt ass naked... and this hoe dropped her wedding ring at the threshold of the door turned around and ran out screaming. All I could think about was..."Maybe I shouldn't of gotten that Dick implant." #OhWell.
 The moral of the story is your past can subconsciously fuck up your future. Be careful. Your eyes and ears are the gateway to your soul. #BUFT "Be U Fvck Them.  MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

"If you knew better, you would do better" sound like something Derrick and Jason use to tell me when I was a jit at the boys and girls club (mega shout out to the Boys and Girls Club of America). But it's a true statement. I'm a super strong believer in that statement tho. Think about it, if you knew better, (life decision wise), you would do better as in making better decisions. I'm dedicating this entry to my female readers but fellas you can take some notes to this as well.

The first order of business I would like to address is the value of taking care of yourself. When "I" say taking care of yourself, I don't mean brushing your teeth and getting the 8 hours of recommended sleep, but I'm referring to your self esteem and knowing the value of YOU. To my women, God placed you on this earth as mans prized possession not a Christmas toy. "Christmas toy's" got some of y'all like O_o but hear me out. You always got that one cool ass toy for Christmas that you would play with for a solid month until you "got bored" of it. Ladies (and fellas, but mainly ladies) you aren't a toy, you are a diamond! You are a pearl that God placed you on this earth not to get tossed around and unappreciated. He placed you here to nurture and be the backbone to your man.

(SideNote: my black women, my Nubian queens, carry yourself as such and demand your respect. If you don't respect you, nobody else will. To my strong African American brothers, you are kings. You're not that jailbird that won't amount to anything. You are that provider for your family. Be there for your kids and never let your kids live without.)
With the music and reality garbage that we constantly put into our brains, I honestly believe that some people's value of women depreciate like a new car off the lot. Me personally, I appreciate all women. Big, small, odd shapes, well shaped, no shaped. I appreciate you all because y'all make the world turn. But you should know the worth of yourself and not let anybody else define YOU. I understand God blessed you with different attributes that he didn't bless anybody else with but it wasn't created for everybody to see.

This is going to piss alot of people off but it needs to be said. Sex wasn't created to be abused! Sex, in my opinion, is not only a great feeling, but it should not be with everybody. A preacher taught a sermon one Sunday and he was saying how everyone you have sex with, you trade some of your spirits for their spirits. Ladies, you weren't created to have sex with everybody and their friends, you where created to share that experience with your husband. (in this day in time, real pure virgins are rare). Now I'm not against sex, but choose your partners wisely. Take pride in your garden and make sure you take care of your flower. Nobody likes dead flowers. Think about it.

When it comes to relationships: ladies be supportive of your significant other. The true meaning of relationships is to help your partner become a better person, to help them drop habits and be there for them unconditionally. Relationships aren't supposed to be degrading, morally detrimental and stressful. No relationship is easy, you're not always going to see eye to eye. But COMMUNICATION AND COMPROMISE are two big keys that I think are somewhere in the lost and found. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you aren't appreciated and you always got something to complain to your girls about, you're doing yourself more harm than good. Learn your man and he will learn you (true story) find out everything he likes and learn how to do it. If you don't wanna learn, don't complain about it. Either you're gonna learn, or somebody will teach you how to please your man.

Now this is where it gets good. I touched on this point previously. But you are the only person that defines you. You make your decisions. Others opinions may influence them, but you make your decisions. Surround yourself with positive people that have common goals and watch how fast you progress. But in order to do so, you must know who you are.... Y'all didn't hear me, YOU MUST KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Take some time and figure out what you like and what you don't like. Figure out what's your style. Don't let others opinions on your life dictate who you are.

Y'all probably didn't watch the Iron Giant growing up, but it was a scene in that movie, where the iron man had discovered out he had guns and he started blowing up the town. The little boy that found him was trying to tell him that he didn't have to be destructive for people to accept him. The key part of this movie to me was, "you choose who you want to be".

So I say that to say this, practice positive reassurance. Ladies when you dress up in business attire, tell yourself that you are a QUEEN. Fellas when you throw on that shirt and tie, looked well groomed and speak with intelligence. When you feel like the world is against you and you're having a bad hair day, look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that you're beautiful. Reassuring yourself of your worth is letting you know that you are somebody and you can be on the positive end of the statistic. "If you knew better you would do better"

- #SauceApproved