BLAH BLAH B.L.A.H.

C'mon, why would you start the conversation with that? Nothing good ever follows behind that phrase, then what really makes it worst is that you say "We need to talk" when its not an appropriate time to talk about what it is you want to talk about. Now you got me going the whole day creating topics in my head of what you could possibly want to "Talk" about. Ladies do you know when you say those words, we as men die a little bit. As soon as you say "We need to talk" we get a lump in our throat, our stomach drops and a movie reel starts in our head and for added dramatics it be in fast forward. Automatically we assume the worst like you either pregnant or you about to break up with us, but we quickly erase those notions because  "A" we start calculating your ovulation date, yes ladies that's the only math we good at, plus there is an app for that and "B" if you were going to break up with us, you would have done it right then and there.....I swear we be like "First 48" trying to figure out what the hell it is you want to tell us so that when we do talk we already have counter. Here is the kicker though ladies, some of the stuff we are thinking is not remotely close to what you want to talk about. We are thinking stuff  like did I leave the toilet sit up? or did I poot under the covers last night? 12 hours later,  when we finally meet up and you decide to tell me what it is "We need to talk" about, it be about some shit you did. Two things immediately happen after that: 1) That pressure in our brain is finally released and 2) you get called a "Bitch" .......in our head. The moral of the story is they have an app for everything. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed