BLAH BLAH B.L.A.H.

Come out, come out....wherever you are? I swear searching for underwear after sex is the ultimate "Where's Waldo." Here is a questions that needs answers: Why is it that your underwear is never where you thought you threw them? The Heavens forbids if you have to become David Blaine and do a disappearing act before your partner wakes up. Whereas, you don't want to disturb them but you want to get the hell up out of there.......(you know, the courteous jerk move). This is the face you will make ----> (O_o) if you get caught butt ass naked crawling around using the backlight from your phone trying to be discrete in your underwear voyage (so I've heard). Anyway, the worst of the estrange connection between human and their underwear is.....(drum roll please)......when you are about 17 strokes in and your underwear and sheets decide they want to indulge in their own foreplay. If this is the case your search is now deemed null and void.......In other words you are not finding them shits. Here's an idea.....attach one of those retractable key chains to the elastic part and the other end to the bed post and you have just created an underwear yoyo. The moral of the story is the first person to create a panic button for underwear is going to be a rich S.O.B. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed.