This weeks winner of the Urinal Cake hits a soft spot in my heart. I remember watching this woman on TV with a bucket resting on the floor to catch excess drool driblets from my mouth. I remember telling my mom if i make it out of 8th grade I'm enrolling in Bayside High. I remember thinking "got damn! there's other rich black people outside of the Cosby show!" *sigh* I even got jealous of the hinted relationship between her and Zack. ( that jealously faded because i found comfort in the fact that my name is also Zack and she was really after me. *Shut up don't judge me let me cook*) Sadly to say a job must be done and a piss pie must be handed out. So as much as it pains me to do this, this weeks Urinal Cake goes to none other than Lark Voorhies.
*cries real tear*
Baby girl! what the hell happened?!?! You were once the greatest dark skinned woman the world could ever be blessed with. Now, you look like somebody dragged your face over unfinished baseball bats, then tried to cover it up with colored talc powder. BUT! in her defense, I know that you said that it was a bad makeup artist that made you look like ....... this, so because of that and my vivid memory of you from "how high" half the cake goes to WHOEVER THE F**K MADE YOU LOOK LIKE THIS! Lark, didn't you look at a mirror before you went out for the interview? Who the hell told you that your makeup was flawless? You couldn't reschedule? You couldn't ask the network to put on a long ass commercial so you could get your shit straight? To that makeup person, whether it be guy or girl should be hunted down, shot, sent to the big homie upstairs with a return to sender slip, then shot again. So... more or less I'm disappointed in your descion making rather than your appearance, but your appearance is a direct result of your descion making.
Everybody give this woman and her makeup artist a BIG urinal flush
But hey, what do I know? *splits White owl*
Honorable Mention:
Man who fathers 30 children asks for break -- on child support
Really bruh?? 30 kids?? And you want what??! a break?! how about you just keep ya d**k in ya pants homie.
@ZeeDaay
5 comments
Im forever scarred of that picture haunting me. I will never have that wonderful feeling when I watch saved by the bell again. The sad part is that it all ready looks like her face was flushed before you gave her that award. smh.
Posted on May 18, 2012 at 3:14 PM
Hurts my heart. I still love this lady! but damn, that pic is f'd up man
Posted on May 18, 2012 at 3:18 PM
She look like resident evil zombie smh....tht pictures burns my soul
Posted on May 19, 2012 at 12:55 PM
I wish I could believe her when she says its her makeup artists fault but Ive seen her in another pic looking just as fucked up...I will shed 1 tear for the part of me that used to wish I could be Lisa Turtle, the rest of me will laugh at her ass for even looking like that and lying to herself and the world...to the folks who long to be famous...this is what u look like when syndication checks stop rolling in!
Posted on July 17, 2012 at 7:20 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SvFGsGElZc
Dont be upset....she was really kissing you ZeeDaay.
Posted on September 29, 2012 at 12:57 PM
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