BLAH BLAH B.L.A.H.

*Singing* This right here's a panty dropper (insert Trey Songz moan here)
(Usher slides across your computer screen)

About to make it real sexy in here so go get a condom for your keyboard and dim the lights, I practice "safe blogging" I don't want dot cum to get everywhere (I cannot afford to have any cyber kids). Now before I penetrate your mind, I want you to find the sexiest song in your playlist and press play (preferably a Maxwell joint), also for the rest of this entry I want you to read it with the "Barry White" voice (no homo, but that mans voice can vibrates a women's soul harder then a pocket rocket attached to a car battery). Don't act like you never banged skins to "Practice what you preach" and if you haven't...FUCK YOU for thinking I'm crazy. By a show of hands, who has a wall that has that headboard line engraved across it *raises hand*. Go check....I'll wait. I swear, stop looking like I'm the stupid one, you stupid for having wack sex. There was a study done that showed for every 8 sexual encounters you should have to repaint your wall. Kevin Hart said it best (Paraphrased) "The sound the headboard makes when hitting the wall is momentum for a man to keep going." If you really pay attention when having sex instead of just having it, there is a soundtrack created and the sound of the headboard beating against the wall is the bass line to your sexual instrumental (that was poetic as hell). Let me learn you bedroom rookies something, this is the trick to lasting longer....Think about anything other then the cooch. That is merely "beat it up" 101. Can I confess something....When it is someone I want to impress, I leave the TV on so I can watch that shit. You laughing, but I bet she gone leak twice before I leak once. Enough about me...back to this headboard thing, your headboard can also double as an stabilizer. Some dudes equilibrium's are off and need that added support to hold on to. Try it tonight, bury her head in the pillows and grab hold of that headboard with both hand, stand up slightly in the bed and commence to vertically jackhammering that rabbit hole. Ok, I quit...My paynus is getting hard writing this. To be continue.....The moral of the story is the dude who invented the headboard had a hidden agenda. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE #CommentsWelcomed