Fee B's Makeup Bag Classic Cinema
What’s going on my good people. I’m here today to pull another item out of my makeup bag and the item for today is something everyone has to know a little bit about…Horror movies. Now I love a good movie just like anybody else. As a matter of fact some of my inspiration on what I want to write about comes from tv, movies or music. As I sit here during my mommy free time, I pour up some white zinfandel, grab my blanket and my pillow, plop on the couch and start my mini horror-a-thon. I love horror movies but I only watch them alone during the day…yeah Imma punk lol but I decide to watch Frozen and Wrong Turn. Now I’ve seen them before but it never amazes me at the dumb shit producers, writers and directors put in scary movies. WARNING… SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t seen them and want to, stop reading I talk a little about what goes on in the movies…so you have 5 seconds, 4...3...2...1... So Frozen a group of idiots goes to a ski resort, arrive, kick it all day and then decide to go ski even though the lift is closing for the night and they of course get stuck….1st please tell me why you just couldn’t wait until the next morning to go on the ski lift? I mean if it was that important wouldn’t skiing be the 1st thing done when you got there? 2nd okay your stuck on the ski lift, one of the three jumps and come on lets face it you just committed suicide but his girlfriend’s first thought is to go after him? Bitch at least try to survive and live for him he just jumped foolishly thinking he could save you and go get help don’t let his imminent death be in vain…And of course she would be the one to survive. Now Wrong Turn gets me because of course a bunch of teens end up in the woods of cannibals and of course a girl gets captured. They watch the dismembering of her and when they get their chance to escape they run for it, the last one out notices the cannibal coming and he yells run…they run no further than the distance of a football field and one chick stops to tell the others you didn’t see what they did to her…WHAT? Why are you not running? Do you not want to live to dream about horror you just saw every night of your life? Are you and your friend so close that you are ready to join her in the after life? You guys really must have been besties. Then her loving boyfriend consoles her and tells her they will get out of this and get married…he dies. And so does she. To be perfectly honest….I LOVE IT!!!! Its my favorite part of the movie…when the stupid people die. Come on I know I’m not alone, in some way you are just like me. When the naked bitch running in the woods with her just killed boyfriend’s dress shirt or bloody tee shirt on, no bra, nipples indicating its 10 degrees, falls and gives that dumb yell/cry, then scoots instead of getting up before the killer is right over her gets an axe to the dome you say “ well hey I saw it coming she should have too” or “Oh well” or even a “she deserved it for doing some stupid mess like that” ADMIT IT!!! We root for her, telling her to run, look behind her, look in front of her…LOOK BITCH RUN BITCH. I hear you at the movies don’t act like I’m the only one. We have grown so accustomed to certain things in scary movies that it kind of diminishes it's scary… a party or a road trip or camping isn’t unusual. Often it's the setting for the film. Drinking, Drugs and Sex will occur. Fake tits will be put on display, at least one woman will die naked, usually the one that runs upstairs or outside and falls, we blacks usually don’t do to good in the scary movies, when you shoot or stab or blow up the killer at the end they always come back to life for one last attempt before they get the “final”(I put final in quotes because usually a sequel is guaranteed) bullet to the forehead or chopping off of the head. Wouldn’t it be great to see a horror movie made that wasn’t totally predictable and formulaic? I’m just saying…Well world until the next time I pull an item out of my makeup bag…Live, Laugh, Love
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