BLAH BLAH B.L.A.H.

Before we continue let me say this really aint for black folks, I’m speaking to my Nubian white queens, my milks of magnesia, my snow bunnies. It’s February 7^th, have you told him Happy Black History Month? If you haven’t…. good for you suga foot, you’re on the right path. That’s probably the worse thing you can say to him right now. Nothing you say will come across as you really giving a sh*t, honestly. There are 21 days left in this glorious month, and if you’ve already made it a 1/4^th of the way thru without getting your nose knocked off and sold on Ebay, chances are you’ll f**k up somewhere between the 24^th and the 28^th one way or another. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen to you. Remember, I’m only here to help. With that being said, here are a couple ways to make sure you keep your Negro male thru the month of February.

1.

Don’t come home with random African garments.. You trying too hard. Nothing’s more embarrassing than your Nubian white queen arriving at your house in Rwanda clothes looking like the white she-devil.   

2. 

 Kwanzaa is in December…. It doesn’t carry over. Don’t be coming in the house with candles and presents talmbout “Umoja!”... nah …stfu fam  

3. 

Role play in the bedroom… (preferably slave and slave masters wife)

4. 

If you can’t get down on the soul food meals… this is not the month to start, all your going to do is piss off his grandmother that already doesn’t like you.

Now this is for my black folks….

It’s our month. Feel free to do whatever you want. You know all we need is an excuse to do some sh*t. Whenever white folks gives us “fake” ownership of something, we take it and run with it, so for the remainder of the month I want you to do a couple things not only for me, but for our people in general. DISCLAIMER: If you get caught, its not my fault fam, it just isn’t.

1. 

Run a red light. Why you ask? For the simple fact, Garrett Morgan invented traffic signals.

2. 

Go jam a white girl. Doesn’t matter how they look, as long as her parents hate the fact she turned down Billy for De’shawn. Ladies, this can apply to you as well. His mom won’t like the fact that her Graham is jamming Leticia instead of Abby.

3. 

At lunch grab a white co-worker, take them to Remus for the G-pan, have them walk inside with you, and then leave them there for 15 minutes. That face upon your return will be priceless.