Pocket Watch
Who you remember this?
"Hey, what time is it?"
"Half past a monkey's ass & a quarter til his balls"
Unfortunately, that has nothing to do with this entry...Well, maybe a little bit I guess...Time comparison...Anyway, Based On A True Story (that I made up): You Ready, Set, G-O....I know what time it really is...Time for you to stop eyeballing my wallet. (This reminds me of this nursery rhyme....Want to hear it...Well here it go: Tick Tock, Tock Tick That is the sound of you "watching" my pockets bitch. What goes in and comes out is non of your concern, so what there is a hole where MY last check burn. The bills are paid, may have been a little late. Fuck you telling your friends it's been a while since we went on a date. What do they know, they're slow...One thing for sure, I got that Madden tho...)Now before you go bashing me or this blog, you know there is always message you can get out of it. Currently at this very moment I have not the slightest idea of what that message is, but before I give you my signature sign off I'm sure something would have transpired, so keep reading. (30 minutes later) The number one thing that causes turmoil in a relationship are finances, the all mighty dollar has hurt more relationships than an "accidental" peek at an unsolicited text messages. Rather it is the fact of the mismanagement of funds or simply not bringing home enough "bacon" ummmmmmm, bacon.....I love bacon..(lets pause for bacon). Anyway, As you get older, you come to realize that relationships are give and take, more give and less take and as strange as this sounds, if both parties abide by this rule it somehow balances everything out. That might have been one of those math equation we all slept through in highschool. Picture this if you will, a triangle...There are three points; two at the base and one at the top. It is said that if you and your mate place yourself at either spectrum of the base of that triangle and focus on God (which is the top point of the triangle) then there is nothing, not even financial disparities that can detour the relationship due to the fact that there is a common denominator. So instead of her/him "watching" your pockets focus on spending time together <----(double entendre). The moral of the story is Karma is a bitch, be stingy with the money and she gone take half eventually. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed
Urinal Cake: Gimmie a baby so I know it's real
Everybody give this woman a Huge Flush!
But Hey, What Do I Know?
Nuts and Bolts (Explicit)
Greetings & Salutations...
"When life gives you lemons, ask for a receipt" ~ Me
Ladies, are you tired of being "screwed" over? Did you see what I did there? Screw, Nuts, Bolts....Anyway, let me introduce to you a new term for men that treat women like an Ace Hardware stores. Are you ready? Please DO NOT shoot the messenger...
You have to first ask yourself, honestly...Do I have Dollar menu coochie? Your cooch is a direct reflection of your personality/character. Men have come to the conclusion that all "boxes" are the same, they are all pink and present the same results. Now what determines a man to stick around is the personality/character attached to it. Do you carry yourself in a manner that allows a man to be intrigued by more then a warm....wet.... soft.... *licks lips* plump piece of anatomy that is located between your inner thighs? Listen carefully ladies, a man takes prides in himself on conquering as much coochie as he can before falling in love. If you have been a victim of the "Nuts & Bolts" then you only have yourself to blame. Let me clarify what that means. It is basically what it sounds like, a guy nuts on your butt, you're stuck "babysitting" <--- get it..... and then hauls ass and leaves you with an empty feeling. It is a women's job to give a guy more than what he WANTS, and more of what he NEEDS. What does a man need you ask? A man NEEDS three things 1) Support 2) Food & 3) Compassion. Support his dreams, Feed the ni**a and be Compassionate about his feelings as well as he is to yours. One thing women tend to forget is men have feelings too. Simple right? Women have the power to make a man fall in love with them without fucking with their spaghetti, oh you never heard about that?...Men, be careful...It is an old southern voodoo that a women can put you under their spell by putting PERIOD juices in your spaghetti sauce. Anyway, ladies, most MEN have standards in who they lay down with, unlike popular beliefs all men DO NOT sleep with any and everything. Bitter bitches started that rumor....Let me clarify this, most MEN will not pursue any and everything, but if the "box" is offered it is EXTREMELY hard to deny it. Men are competitive by nature and sex is considered a sport in some countries (I made that last part up, but it sounded good). If a MAN lays down with you, there is something about you that attracted them to you. Rather it was something mentally or physically, and even if those two variable were not included, once you fuck your souls connect, so there is a connection regardless. Therefore, it is up to the women to make the guy fall in love. If not then WE nut & bolt. If you do not offer more than that warm....wet....soft....*drools a little* plump piece of anatomy that is located between your inner thighs than you forever be an "Ace Hardware whore." The moral of the story is women look for a handy man not handy men. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed
Welcome to the G Spot…The Woman Zone: Men and Monogamy
Welcome to the G Spot…The Woman Zone: Men and Monogamy
Hey world sorry for the delay with this weeks G Spot but I’m here to bring you my take on why men have such an issue with monogamy as requested in my readers choice edition. Well first off you really cant blame men for this some what genetic disease they suffer from. They are out numbered by women so they have more options. And when you have the option for options why would you just want one? It has nothing to do with the woman being dated nor the potential of the man who can’t be faithful. It’s about personal development. There are times when a man doesn’t have the time to maintain and nourish a relationship and playing the field is a necessity of lifestyle. Before I go any further let me just say to my ladies. All men are capable of being faithful. Only when they are ready to. No amount of good pussy or head will change that. Having his child won’t expedite it. Winning over his friends and family doesn’t make that much of a difference. It’s all in timing. Majority of male’s actual age and mental age don’t match so if you are with a 30 year old man you are actually dating a man with the mindset of a 24-26 year old. So expect him to want what a typical male who is in that age range to want. Just a little knowledge for my ladies. Any way when you factor in the being outnumbered and the age-mind disconnect with men it’s a given that it’s a challenge to be with one woman. Especially when you probably work with plenty of attractive women, work out around them, hang out and see groups of sexy women and feel all of them are attainable. But let’s be real even the best of the best of the average guys won’t get but ¼ of the women they step to. So fellas please understand this when your leaving that 7 to holla at that 10! When men are in relationships it does a few things: 1. Boost their confidence, so they feel they can get any chick at any time( by the way confidence exudes and it makes men more attractive so if you ever felt like damn when I’m single I get no play now that I have a girl all these other women want me…that’s why it also applies for women) 2. Activates grass is green syndrome…by this I mean men feel that by being in a relationship they’re missing out on what single men are “indulging in”{ and if no one wants to put it out their I will: most single men are miserable. Out at the clubs buying drinks in hopes that it will get them some ass after, driving around in a stalker like fashion yelling out car windows trying to pick up scantily dressed chicks, hitting up strip clubs spending that rent on some VIP love. If you’re a lucky single guy you have some chick you can call up for a little sexual rendezvous if not I’m sure you spend the night face booking and twittering up some kind of satisfaction until you fall asleep.} 3. Forces men to evaluate their wants. Men don’t want the responsibility of thinking about the future. It’s a job in itself trying to determine what you want to spend the rest of your life with let alone for the moment. Contrary to what most women believe men don’t intentionally want to hurt a woman by cheating on her. Please don’t banish me from womanhood for saying some should feel flattered that she was cheated on. He didn’t want to end the relationship though he was curious about this other woman who wasn’t worth the risk of losing you. Yes cheating is awful but it’s forgivable( we will touch more on that in a later edition of Makeup Bag) So I guess with all that I’m basically trying to say it’s going to take time or that person made especially for you for you to feel that there is nothing else out there for you. There is no age when it goes away. It’s all internal…what you want for your life. When you felt you’ve had enough of whatever you were doing and casual dating. We all peak at different times, or when we end up with that right person things just become clearer. I’m not sure if that really answered your question Pee Jay but as a woman that’s the best I could do…but for tonight’s homework everyone is to ask 3 men why they have cheated if they have or 3 men why they don’t cheat and see what the general reason was, this will give us all better insight to the reason why men cheat, which in turn will help us figure out why monogamy is an issue…until next week…happy humping!
Fee B’s Makeup Bag: Gender Bender (Not what you think
Fee B’s Makeup Bag: Gender Bender (Not what you think)
Hello my peeps! I’ve decided since my cousins wedding is a mere 11 days away I would do a topic inspired by her. Now this is my younger( by a year cousin ) who is getting married to her high school sweet heart…please your awwwws are making me throw up a little in my mouth but anyway they have been to a total of 12-14 years I believe and they are just now getting married. She waited all this time for his proposal instead of just saying fuck the status quo and asking him to marry her. True enough it’s not as if they lost time but if the end result was always to get married why wait on him to ask her. Now in this same situation we have another gender bender situation the groom picked 11 groomsmen the bride only had 6 bridesmaids so she had to come up with more bridesmaid which is usually never a problem for a bride. Times have changed and women keep talking that equality, I can do bad by myself independence shit but not walking the walk. How many of you treat a man out to dinner? I’m not gonna even ask how many expect to be treated to a dinner by a man. Any of you volunteer to pay a bill since you can fix your mouth to ask for yours to be paid? Your need for him to ride in a BMW instead of a Nissan when your walking to the bus is exactly what? I’m not saying this is every woman but I can’t help but wonder just because we have accepted certain gender roles that doesn’t mean that it’s exclusive to that gender? What is wrong with a man being a stay at home dad? A woman being a CEO of a company. Absolutely nothing. I believe in breaking the misconceptions of gender roles. Anything a man can do a woman can besides penetration. Anything a woman can do a man can besides giving birth. Let’s stop focusing on men should do this women should do that is just do it. Until the next time I reach into my makeup bag…Live, Laugh, Love.
Urinal Cake: Rapid Reaction (Bears Fans Only)
Come Again
