BLAH BLAH B.L.A.H.

Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally, she doesn't know any better. (hint)

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself. ~ Harriet Nelson

If you have not realized by now that this is a blog about forgiveness, then you stupid....but I forgive your stupidity. There comes a point in life where you will have to become the "bigger" person, that is just a sign of growth and maturity. Those who hold on to hate are more disturbed then the person who has inflicted the initial conflict. Its amazing that one of the easiest gestures in the world can become the hardest gesture in the world. Notice, I could of easily wrote for the blog title "4Give" but people make somethings that is so simple and make it complex. Now I know that wasn't  the hardest equation I could of used,  but hell that's all my math is limited to.....this is why I'm a writer and not a mathematician, sheesh. Anyway, this is not about me right now. Forgiveness is a three step process. Once you commit to forgiving the individual you must forgive yourself after you forgive yourself, then you forget. Don't forget the individual, forget the situation. Ok I'm tired of "Preaching." *Passes offering basket* The moral of the story is unforgiveness is an unnecessary burden so get rid of it. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

"Ead Ray His Tay Hit Shay"

 I just told you to "Read This Shit" in pig Latin, now go back and decipher this blog title.....don't worry I'll wait.......ok, for the slow folks, it says "LOVE." Doesn't love feel like this, like a foreign language that you need help deciphering. Don't you wish that when encountering another individual they came with a manual on how to love them, wouldn't that make loving that person so much easier. Some of you bastard are lucky, you got a girl/guy that will love you no matter what, therefore its easy to reciprocate(in most cases). Others are emotionally challenged and confuse Love with Lust. Now if you find yourself in the position where you don't understand the native language its ok to ask questions. Ask someone that speaks the language of love fluently, usually its your partner, they typically speak the language well. It doesn't hurt to ask them "how do you want me to love you?" The moral of the story is Lust and Love is like two languages close in proximity, the wrong verb placement will screw the whole sentence up. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

"Our Yay reath Bay Mell Say Ike Lay Arbage Bay" <---first person to tell me what this says gets a S/O

Its just something sexy about a women that knows how to use her tongue.....to converse intellectually. See ladies we don't just  want you for physical stimulation, but mental as well. A women with the ability to hold an intelligent conversation about current event can get her p*ssy ate any day. 9 times out of 10 if she is smart enough to keep you mentally entertained then I can safely bet that her cooch taste like an Arizona Ice tea. I'm just saying I never met a dirty cooch Political Science Major. Now watch all the "ratchet" chicks start watching more CNN.  Couples, do me a favor and read together, watch the news together and discuss it. A mental "phuck" is more exciting. Now, I am not against a good blow job, hell if we can discuss the Trayvon Martin movement with my cock in your mouth then so be it. The moral of the story is a good brain equals good head. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

*singing* You down with O.P.P, yeah you  know me.....

I always wanted to know WTF does that mean? Anyway, who cares? Some of you, as hard as you try, can't help but be a naughty and by naughty I mean a hoe, Its in your bloodline. If you checked ancestry.com somewhere along the timeline your relatives were strippers, but that's ok embrace it. I understand that society has labeled the word "hoe" as a derogatory term but I am here to say  "hoes we need you, we need you to balance out the universe" just like we need people to empty the trash or to flip burgers we need hoes, we need you to do those hoeish thing that our quote unquote "good" girls/guys talk about behind your back but behind close doors reenact perfectly. This may be a little extreme but I believe that nature has created this cycle that us humans have learned to adapt to and being naughty is a part of that cycle. Everybody and I mean everybody unless you are a NUN or a MONK have participated in hoeish activities and I even think they got down. So far nature has not steered us wrong except for a few hurricanes, earth quakes, floods, tornados, volcanic eruptions, fires, Tsunamis, cyclones , avalanches, blizzards, hail storms and heat waves. Its only right that we are allowed to be naughty by nature.  The moral of the story is hoes you are not alone, we to were once one, we just found Jesus and somebody that didn't know us in high school. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed  #GTFOH If you agreed to any of this you maybe a hoe and ain't nothing good about being a hoe #SetUp

Friend
Any
Girl
Gladly
Opens up
To

Let me first start of by addressing the fact that I love P*ssy, If you don't believe me, I bet you wont leave your girl around me with a bottle of  1800 tequila.....and  watch me get it popping like fireworks. Ok, enough about me, this blog is a PSA on how society uses words to deform ones character.  I don't think we understand the power that our speech has. Words that we formulate have the ability to start Wars or make babies smile. Our mentality as a generation has to change. You will notice how I turned a negative connotation into a positive. The word Faggot is a word used as a derogatory term that expresses a males sexuality, but who is always surrounded by some of the finest women? Who has seen the more tittes then a little bit? In studying the female species, I have come to the conclusion that if the females species are more comfortable around a male then they are more likely to engage in sexual activities. I have also concluded that a female that can trust you to give an opinion on their current situation is more likely to "bend over backwards" to assist you in a time of need. Also it is proven that more women are loyal then men. So I don't know about you, but I would rather have a loyal, soft, fine, good smelling, possibility of an sexual experience female friend any day. The moral of the story is until I can get everybody on board, if you call me a "faggot" imma slap you. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #Comments Welcomed #StopTheBullying 

I am not a radical by any means, I just have some radical tendencies. ~Perry

Hosea 4: 6 (KJV) My people perish from a lack of knowledge. If you don't believe in the bible here it is in worldly terms "African Americans disappear due to ignorance" This is by far not a racial issue, you can insert any race in the place of  "my people". According to my good friend Webster, he informed me that the word  "Freedom" is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. I then reflected on a English as a Second language course I took many moons ago and what we forget is that some words are derived from root word which in this case is  "Free" and a suffix which is "Dom". Webster then pulled me to the side again and told me, "if that is the case the word" "Free" means not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes and the word "Dom" is an Anglo-Saxon law that means a body of written rules and customs. Now my question to Webster was, how can you NOT be under the control or power of another but yet you have to abide by written rules and customs? Isn't that like an oxymoron or something? And he said "you know what, YOU RIGHT" The moral of the story is never debate with a dictionary, you will never win. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

We live in a time where fashion dominates our lives. Everyone wants to keep up with the latest fad and trends, but just as your purse compliments your shoes or your tie accentuates your style, so should your partner.  In other words, you shouldn't be a "nickel" looking for a "dime" hoping to make a "quater." Your partner should be the ham to your burger, the ice for your beverage or the ice cream for your cake <------shout out to Rihanna . Throughout my study of the female species I have adapted  this  theory. Men, when determining if she is right for you, you should check out her shoe game.  I believe the shoes you wear is a reflection of your personality. Therefore you should think of  women as three types of shoes: a Stiletto, a Flat, or a Gym Shoe. The Stiletto type is that women that is elegant yet sexy, sophisticated and a risk taker. Most important is she likes to party. The Flat type is that women that is multipurpose, she understands the importance comfort and is laid back, this type of women can be casual but still take care of business. Most important she is hardworking. Last is your Gym Shoe type, this women is the no non-sense type but can relate better to her man. This type of women also is not scared of the gym and keeps her body and health in good condition. Most important she is fun but can be mistaken as one of the guys. When identifying your "Sole Mate" you want a women with an equal number of each, give or take a few. Theory is patent pending. The moral of the story if she has more shoes with shoestrings you might be dating a dude. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed.    

Jay-z did it for Blue Ivy, Mufasa did it for Simba, hell even Michael Jackson did it for Blanket......I might as well go ahead.

Asia Renee Jackson born February 26, 2009

Asia, the worlds largest continent was my thought when I named you
therefore I expect "BIG" things.
you were born into a love that is true
a product of a King.
you are a princess by default
so you are royalty
therefore your presence is to be in exalt
and followed by loyalty
hold your head high
I don't expect anything less
reach for the sky
and you will continue to be bless.
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS & FOREVER

The moral of the story is True Love does exist. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE #CommentsWelcomed

As the old Baptist church folks would say, "I might step on some toes with this one".......Oh well

If I hear one more person who does not  have a ring on the third finger from the thumb on their left hand call their significant other "wifey" or "hubby" I'm going to politely chop them in the throat. You sons of bitches and daughters of them too, make me sick. You have taken something so sacred and diminished the meaning....... And you wonder why every generation is cursed....... its simple, because we raising our youth in false practices. I got a question: you so call "hubby" or "wifey",  can you claim each other on your taxes..... is there a box you can check on your w2's that says we not married but that's my "hubby or "wifey"?....don't worry I'll wait.....I didn't think so, with yo durdass....... The words Husband and Wife is a title given to the other to ensure that the time for games are over and from a biblical standpoint it is a covenant that is made before God. How you "wifey" and you still shaking yo ass at the Green Dolphin? or any other club for that matter and how you "hubby" and you still got all your ex's phone numbers in your phone? I hope from here on out whenever you say "hubby" or "wifey" to describe the relationship of your significant other you taste doo doo on your tongue. The moral of the story don't build a house on quicksand it wont last. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.  #CommentsWelcomed

C'mon, why would you start the conversation with that? Nothing good ever follows behind that phrase, then what really makes it worst is that you say "We need to talk" when its not an appropriate time to talk about what it is you want to talk about. Now you got me going the whole day creating topics in my head of what you could possibly want to "Talk" about. Ladies do you know when you say those words, we as men die a little bit. As soon as you say "We need to talk" we get a lump in our throat, our stomach drops and a movie reel starts in our head and for added dramatics it be in fast forward. Automatically we assume the worst like you either pregnant or you about to break up with us, but we quickly erase those notions because  "A" we start calculating your ovulation date, yes ladies that's the only math we good at, plus there is an app for that and "B" if you were going to break up with us, you would have done it right then and there.....I swear we be like "First 48" trying to figure out what the hell it is you want to tell us so that when we do talk we already have counter. Here is the kicker though ladies, some of the stuff we are thinking is not remotely close to what you want to talk about. We are thinking stuff  like did I leave the toilet sit up? or did I poot under the covers last night? 12 hours later,  when we finally meet up and you decide to tell me what it is "We need to talk" about, it be about some shit you did. Two things immediately happen after that: 1) That pressure in our brain is finally released and 2) you get called a "Bitch" .......in our head. The moral of the story is they have an app for everything. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

now I know you are excited of your new found relationship, but do you need to post your every move on social networks? personally I dont give a flying fudge what your pet name for him/her. Do you ever think of how retarded you will look if it doesnt work out? But hey who am I? I commend you for being optimistic that you guys will be together for ever. But really,  if you survive all four seasons then you can celebrate. Until then go play in traffic.

If your bed is anything other then a KING size then you have fell victim to the "Wet Spot"
"Wet Spot" (noun)- a liquid area left in your mattress after sexual intercourse that is produced by a mixture of vaginal secretions and body sweat.
Now that the Sex Education lesson is out of the way, we can now turn our attention to the more serious question that we all ask ourselves....."who is going to sleep in it?" That has been the unresolved question that remains a mystery to this day. Women say men should sleep in it since we caused it and men say women should sleep in it because its their juices. So who is right?.......I'm here to inform you that neither of you selfish bastards are right. I can't believe that either one of you inconsiderate sons of bitches would want the other to sleep in it. If you don't want to lay in it, what makes you think the other person wants to lay in it. Flip the mattress over or make a pallet on the floor afterwards you thoughtless pricks. And we wonder why relationships don't last. Now if she doesn't want to get up to allow a mattress flipping then she has just volunteered to sleeping in the "wet" spot and therefore the question has been answered....."A sip of my got damn juice" ~Kevin Hart. The moral of the story is a do unto others that you would want done unto you. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

Oh, so its that time of the month? You telling me this because?......I don't think women realize that there are two other holes that can be filled (use your imagination). Women when we address you in "the mood" the last thing we want to hear is "I'm on my Period......" When those words find there way out of your mouth,  We start feeling like "Pinky" off Next Friday ....."Ooooooo.....Say it again......Say it again......Say another Mu-tha-F@#-king word." But all we do as men is sit there with that "I eat ass" face and take it....I'm here to make a stand.......No More....Men, when she hit you with that "I'm on my Period" you counter it with a "What that mouth do?" Say it with me  WHAT....THAT....MOUTH.....DO? We do not have to settle for the words "I'm on my Period" to be the end of the conversation. Better yet you can tell her to go and get the lube so you know its real....... Ladies, don't frown up, at least this pain will take your mind off those stomach cramps, I'm trying to help you out.  You all need to expand your HOErizon anyway....Let  the brother experiment with that poop shoot, it want kill you, it may feel like it, but it wont.......  I'm just saying, if you want a faithful man some sacrifices have to be made. The moral of the story is by any means necessary. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.  #CommentsWelcomed

Parts of your relationship need to stay private. Some of you women have it bad bragging about your sex life to other female friends. Ladies, Stop that....you put us men in a predicament that forces us to test our love for you. When you go telling "Tasha" how good I put it down, all you do is give her a visual and make her curious. She begins thinking in the back of her head "I wonder is he is really all that." Now you got "Tasha" plotting on ways to get us alone so she can find out for her self. This is no fair for us men..... we already want to screw your friend...\(0_0)/.....You just made it easier for that to happen. She starts flirting and giving signs, wearing tight fit clothes to game night and calling my phone looking for you. But we as men, we do have a code , we will never sometimes make a "pass" at our girls friend because we consider that "too close to home" but if she makes the first move "its a wrap." I have a motto and it goes like this: The only thing that should talk about our sex life is the bedroom walls. The moral of the story is women can't stop bragging so just give the dude a threesome. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. (No Tasha's were hurt in the making of this blog) #CommentsWelcomed

Man
I
Love
Fruit
Look at you head all in the gutter.....Good keep it there, cause there is exactly where I want it.....Seriously, I do love fruit tho, but my all time favorite fruit are pineapples and if you are a man you should love pineapples too. Why you ask? You ever wonder why your girl never swallowed your kids? Simple,  cause she wack.....no, but for real because she's wack and she thinks cum taste nasty. Ladies I am here to inform you that it has been tested by myself *pause* and some scientist somewhere that certain fruits digested has an effect of sweetening a males semen and pineapples are one of those fruits. Men if you consume at least one fruit cocktail cup a day for the next ten days your significant other will be able to taste a difference. If you don't believe me try it. Ladies start feeding your man pineapples for the next week or two and see if you don't try and blow a bubble with his cum. Fellas start stocking your cabinets with canned pineapples and eating them on a regular and after she get that first taste I guarantee she will have second thoughts before she spits. The moral of the story is start buying stock in pineapples. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

If you are #TeamSingle then you know exactly what I mean, hell even some you that are in a so called "committed" relationship may still call a "Time Out" sometimes and make a substitution. Every individual rather you know it or not have your own basketball team (number of player may vary on your skill level), where you are the coach and make game time decisions. This blog is a brief explanation of the "Starting Five." First you have your Point Guard (Pg), this is your "main squeeze", "boo thang", "honey" or "bae". This individual has driven your car, met 3/4 of your friends and has engaged in sexual intercourse without the use of a Prophylactic. Next you have your Shooting Guard (Sg) or your "friend with benefits". This individual is the first point of contact after an argument with the Point Guard has occurred. This individual usually knows about the main player or the Pg and is ok with the situation because 9 times out of 10 you are a member of his/her starting five as well. This Individual typically was introduced to you by a mutual friend of you and the Point Guard, (makes for good alibi). This individual is only used for sexual favors, alcoholic beverages and an venting outlet. Then there is your Small Forward (Sf), this person is the monetary provider. This individual is only good for gifts and conversation. If the game is played correctly you have not had sexual relations with this individual. Usually the Small Forward is not as cute as the Pg or Sg. Next you have your Power Forward (Pf), now this individual made themselves this position. This individual is the one that always answers the phone after being drunk dialed. This player is only responsible for after hour head jobs usually a super freak or has self esteem issues. Last you have your Center (C) the Shaquille Oneil of the game. This player does not know about any of you other relationships, Hell they only know how you look by your profile picture from Facebook or Twitter, this is your internet hubby or Wifey. Their only purpose is for sexting and a occasional Skype masterbation session. Which position do you play? The moral of the story is if you are going to play the game at least be an MVP. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE #CommentsWelcomed. 

You cannot tell me that you don't have a "lets get down and dirty" Playlist.....And no that's not the name of mines.......but that playlist that has every song on it that has a sexual reference. You know like Adina Howard "T-shirt and Panties" or Tony Toni Tone "Lay your head on my pillow" just to name a few. Raise your hand if you a freak....don't worry nobody can see you. I know you have a playlist and if you don't I advise you make one tonight.  Its just something about the "playlist" that makes the sex great even if the sex isn't great. You ever tried to "stroke" or "ride" to the beat of a song (White people do not try that at home you might break something). What was crazy though,  you always have that one song that didn't belong on the "playlist" but somehow just happens to get mixed in on the shuffle, something like Kirk Franklin "Stomp" or some shit, mess up the whole mood, then you got to hurry up and get up and change the song cause you start to feel guilty. You ever made your playlist so that it told a story....you know the first song be Akinyele "Put It In Your Mouth"  and the last song is Changing Faces "G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T." That might have just been me.....no shame in my game. The moral of the story is make love to the music and it will be the best sex you ever encounter. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed <-----------What is one song that is in your playlist?

Ladies do your cooch have a lace front on? Men do your "man part" have helmet hair?

That. is .not. what's. up. Do you think that it makes you an adult? Ah.....NO...... Nobody wants to give you head and floss at the same time. Since I'm a man, my comments are going to stem more towards the problems we as men have with your love bush. First and foremost, for my sake and the many men that I am speaking for; cut it, trim it, braid it, perm it and put it in a ponytail....... just get it out of the way. Women did you know that every cooch hole is not located in the same spot on a female?  look at some of the guys reading this like "I didn't  even know that" ........(Rookie)........ Do you know how goofy we look rubbing our "thing" thru your jungle hoping that it slips in.....of course you know....That is not a part of fore play, that is a part of "I can't find it" play. Make it easy for us and shave your hair into an arrow that points to the entry and get rid of the access.  Also Women about 90% of men would rather go down on a female that is clean shaved (no razor bumps cause we automatically assume the worst). The other 10% probably ran a train on a toaster before. Think about it this way.....When at a restaurant what is the first thing you do when you find hair in your food? You return it. The moral of the story is your garden is more beautiful without the weeds. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

Stroke my ego......
We can all agree that no one likes to be wrong...but we all have that moment during a conversation were a compromise has to and needs to happen. Two words that I have found to end all debates is the infamous phrase  "You Right" I thank the English gods for connecting these two words and giving it the power to diffuse any situation. Did you know that it takes more energy to have a 3 minute debate then it does to run a mile ( I made that up, but it sounds like it could be true). I have witness the use of this phrase save marriages, eliminate speeding tickets, and allow the President of the United States to still be respected by the Republican party. I'm just saying, if its good enough for the President then its good enough for me. There is a saying that I just Googled and it says "There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat" ~James Russell Lowell........In other words, let the phrase "You Right" be your overcoat. Homework Assignment: As soon as you find yourself exchanging personal opinions, even if you know you're right, simply look the other person in the eye and say "You Right" ........You have basically told the other person to STFU without saying STFU.  Congratulations!!! The moral of the story is find other ways to get the "upper hand" MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

If you a Six and below only people that is going to Love you is Jesus and your Momma .....Good Luck
Everybody is desiring to be a ten when tens are non-existent. Ten is an imaginary goal set in place for you to try and accomplish in order to make you do better with your life. The misunderstanding is that people think the scale is based on looks only.......Wrong!!! I'm here to set the set the record straight. The scale is a little more Intricate then that. There are multiple categories that make up your average.......Look at y'all, like what are those categories. The equation consist of 3 categories: Physical Appearance, Attitude and Conversation. Its Attitude over Conversation divided by Physical Appearance (see fig. 1) or  Physical Appearance times Attitude over Conversation (see fig. 2). Depending on your method of connection with the other person will determine which equation you will use. Example: If you see somebody in the club you will use the second equation PA*A over C and if you are introduced to someone you will use equation A over C/PA. Each category contains its own numeric value between 1-10. The object is to equal a Seven or better as the sum........The moral of this story is why dont they teach this type of math in school, I probably would of passed.  MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

Warning: read with caution words my sound better in my head, then they appear.

Women are mean!!!..............but only under one circumstance........... tell me if I'm wrong ladies, but you are genuinely assholes  when someone does something to you that you think was deliberate. Example: This may be a little extreme but this is the only way I can break it down. Scenerio 1. I'm about go step on her shoes.....*Stomp Stomp Stomp* compared to "Oh excuse me, I"m sorry, them some nice shoes.....(get it, Got it, Good)  I believe that majority of women think that way, that's why they are constantly guarded and are unintentionally observing their current situation(s)......Now listen up.....women tell me if I'm wrong and men listen because I believe there is truth in what I'm about to say.  Men this is a gift and a curse. Its a gift because if she consider herself committed to the relationship rather its on a friend level or mate level, she will always have your best interest at heart, therefore that guard that she has up will extend to your "fortress" and only a lowered drawbridge will allow an outsider to cross the moat......I don't judge, but a "moat" is the carved out area around a castle usually filled with water that prevents the enemy from penetrate the castle walls ( ha, I thought I would get a little Shakespearish that last sentence)........EFF YOU, I LIKED IT........... Remember I said that this is a gift and a curse........ now the "curse" aspect of this two sided opposition is that a prideful man will begin to withdraw from that observation trait because it is foreign to him.  Anything that a man can't understand he will attempt to comprehend or Withdraw from it........and  majority of the time its  a withdraw because men are too prideful. Let it Marinate...... Men/Women if you understand let me hear you say "Blah." if you disagree let he hear you say "Blah Blah" and if it you reading this and if this going in one ear and out the other let me hear you say "Blah Blah Blah."......... the moral of the story is to make a female your best friend and be loyal......... MY NAME PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

(Put your kids to bed before you read this one)

*Singing* This right here's a Panty Dropper (Trey Songz)
Any human being that has been introduced to hair pulling, biting, scratching and an occasional slapping know damn well the title of this blog is not relevant. You have to be the most boringnest (yup, I said boringnest), person in the sex world. Ladies, question: would you prefer a dude who throws you on the bed, undress you and  tell you to STFU and to take this D*ck or would you prefer a guy that waits on you to undress, slow strokes it and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. If you said you want the second one you either lying or a virgin. I have a homework assignment for you ladies, when you meet up with your significant I want you to pull him to the side and whisper in his ear very softly "Tear this P*ssy up"  and if he don't get a cramp in the middle of sex I'm going to need you to find another man. Men your goal when having sexual intercourse is hit that second level of the cooch, if you don't know what I'm talking about, right there indicates that your girl fakes her orgasams. Let me clarify, if  you don't have a "safe" word you probably Masterbate with leather gloves on.  MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.  #CommentsWelcomed 

True or False? Every women has a Freaky side it just takes that special someone to bring it out?........... On the other hand some of you hoes it only take a double cheese burger off the $1 menu. 99.9% of men live by the saying "A lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets." the other .1% is Gay, and hell I even think Gays live by that motto. People always say jealousy is a female trait, I'm here to nip that in the bud right now. Yes I said it, men get jealous. No "real man" can stand the fact of another man looking at their girl let along talking to them. Ladies if you are in a committed relationship there is no reason for you to dress provocative when going out and you are not with your man. Men are competitive by nature and get intimidated when what they consider "theirs" is getting attention by another male. Ladies, I'm sorry but when you officially commit in a relationship you become property. I have come to believe that the Muslims already have this figured out that's why they have their women dressed up in those 500 count bed sheets. Ladies the sexiest thing to a man is what he can imagine not what you show him. The Moral of this story is If she wears turtle necks to the beach that's wife material.....MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.  #CommentsWelcomed

"On your mark, get ready, get set.......GO"
Good Guys (noun)- The act of a male attempting to live life righteous under the principles of "good" 
If life was a race and women were the finish line the these type of guys would never leave the starting blocks. Ladies you probably reading this like "I got a  good man"........ WRONG!!!! cause if YOU think he's good you either ratchet cause opposites attract, therefore your good guy has finished last or you just ain't caught him cheating yet and he wasn't a good guy to begin with. I hate to be the barer of bad news but as long as we have 106 & Park, "Good Guys" we don't stand a chance. 98% of girl in the entire world, rather you black, white, yellow, brown or green want them a T.I, Plies or a LiL anybody and nothing about them screams "Good Guy". The other 2% of women are Lesbians.  Now there are exceptions to the rule and I have the secret. Ladies if you are a "Good Girl"  by definition, and wanna  bag you a  "Good Guy" they sell them at the nearest sex store and its called "pocket rocket." and men if you are a "Good Guy" by definition and looking for a "Good Girl" I'm sorry to inform you, but another race has them. With that being said, black guys find a white girl and white guys find a black girl....... Its that simple.  "Good Guys" in like any sport there is a way to cheat if you want to stay within your race, but if you cheat that will be an act of bad, which means you still finish last. #RickeyBobbyTrick............ MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. #CommentsWelcomed

Rules of the game: Top 5 reasons you do not deserve to to own a pair:
5) Your favorite day is the 1st of the month (government assistance program)
4) If your child is wearing Payless or Walmart specials
3) If you think your rent is due after the 5th of every month
2) If the year of your car is a 19 anything

and the number one reason you should not have any Red Bottoms or J's (Drum roll please)

1)if you don't have any feet.
Get your priorities straight Slacker.

Sex life boring?.....use them wigs for something other then pissing me off  (just kidding unless its a lace front). Try role play, ladies use your creative skills to please your man. Unless you are.....never mind all y'all get boring at some point, hell even Eric Benett got tired of Halle Berry. Every man has had a fantasy of having sex with a secretary in an office, so ladies before he makes that fantasy a reality you better meet your man at the door in a business suit, some folders a cup of coffee in hand and address him as "Mr. Jackson" oh wait that's my name. Ladies, I haven't forgot about you. I know y'all like that role play stuff too, but your fantasy is a little different then a males. Y'all fantasy is coming home and the house clean, dishes wash and laundry done.....If you come home to that y'all dropping them draws on spot. can I get a AMEN? Ladies don't be afraid of trying new positions, try something "off the wall" (literally) and Fellas don't be afraid to put her in one of those wrestling moves you seen on WWF...I hate to bust your bubble but missionary and doggystyle gets played out. The moral of this story is ....Ladies if he boring in bed, hit me up...lol, just kidding unless you gone hit me up. #OkayBye

*singing* Like a good neighbor State Farm is here.......with a new mate
So I was thinking, they have "just in case" insurance for everything else why not have it for relationships. Can you imagine, you decide that you and a guy/girl want to take it to the next level and start dating, but before you make it official you pull out a contract and it states the following: This is a legally bonding contract that indicates that upon termination of this relationship between __________________and_________________, that began on the ___day of____________in 20___ shall abide by these rules. If this relationship does not work every gift shall be returned in the condition that it was received, there will be no more after hour text and or phone calls that may and will lead to emotional endeavours, when I post anything on the social networks Facebook or Twitter there shall be no responses by the other party. I do not believe in friends with benefits therefore do not call and or text me after the club. In all, I do me and you do you. If you fail to abide by these rules and regulations you can be subject to legal actions that will constitute a fine(s) paid to the courts and other party......Now there will definitely be additional clauses but I would be blogging all night, but you get the point. I guarantee if this was put in place there would be less emotional confusion because everything will be put on the table at the very beginning. MY NAME IS PERRY AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.